Today I’m on my eighth day of serious journaling. It’s a private journal, but tonight I thought I’d share a portion of today’s brain dump (unedited):
So, I finally understood who I am. I'm a soul, with access to a body on earth. Isn't that simple? I just realized that my body is not me, my body is just a tool I have access to in this world. I realized I have to love it how it is at every moment of its existence, because I know for sure I'm working every day to improve it. I eat things that will improve it and keep it healthy. I drink water regularly to keep it hydrated. I keep it clean on the outside too, of course. I use it to physically and emotionally support others. I also use it to inspire, motivate and push others. The end result is that it keeps me staying for a long period on this earth. I realized that this body is mine, no one else's. I love it the way it is right now. However, this is not how I want it, I'm working on improving it, not just the outside of it, but primarily the inside of it. Health over everything.
This has helped me with my looks problem. Yeah, I believe I’ve been suffering from Body Dysmorphic Disorder for a while now. Now I accept how I look with no problem, I accept people looking at me and POTENTIALLY making jokes about my body. IT’S FINE. I’m just a soul in a body.
This may seem silly to some, but accepting your body is not an easy thing to do for a lot of us.
Fortunately, I know this body can be changed through hard work and dedication, which is what I KNOW I’m doing, so I’m fine. No need to worry, I can just focus on using this body to get me where I want to be in this life. In every aspect.
I’m writing this at 10:40 PM right now, I’m 10 mns past my bed time. I only did my morning routine and I fucked up my other ones because of work, I should have planned better.
I just figured a great way to remember that you’re a soul in this body:
I simply remember one of those biology pictures
and I associate the soul with the brain. I am literally my brain.
Every time I picture it, all my anxiety and negative thoughts are gone because it puts me back in place: into the body.
Here’s another way to put it: Don’t just sense what the body senses, sense the body.
Okay, guess what? It’s now 12:17 AM and I’ve been doing some research before publishing this article. Turns out I just discovered my kind of 6th sense:
It’s called proprioception, which is basically body awareness. Look it up. Never knew this was something.