Preamble

I’ve been actively reading Quora answers since July this year (2019).

Actively, as in, at least 10 questions and their top answers a day.

On an average, I bookmark 2 answers a day. I bookmark the ones that make the most impact on me during the day.

So in the spirit of redistributing and having an easier access to my favorite ones, I decided to publicly post them on here, at least, just the best of them, according to me… on a daily basis.

The following question and answer were the best I glanced over for the day.

What is it that nobody tells you about adult life?

The following answer is by Alexander Finnegan to this particular question.

  1. Nobody knows what is going on. Your pastor, your boss, your grandparents, your professors at school, the media. All of them are unreliable sources. You need to research, think about, and let your life experience help you make your own conclusions. The minute you default this process to someone else is the minute you stop growing.
  2. All of life is practice until you turn 40. After that you know yourself much better. You feel more comfortable in your own skin. You discover your “real” self. It helps you mellow. It helps you stop caring about the opinions of others. It is liberating. But also know that becoming yourself is expensive—you may find family and friends that don’t like the real you. They may ostracize you.
  3. As a younger man I was impressed by professional degrees, Ivy League backgrounds, and a person having lots of money. At age 30 I stopped being impressed. My experience with bad doctors, lawyers, and other authority figures taught me to reserve my respect for those with wisdom. This can come in any form and from any person.
  4. Some people will not like you or even hate you. There is nothing you can do about this. No matter how perfect you are, they will despise you. Avoid them. Don’t argue, don’t obsess about it, just get away.
  5. You can live your life on your own terms or upon the terms set by others. Pick and choose your battles or be miserable. For example, I hate mowing the lawn. My neighbors believe nothing in this world matters more. Instead of feeling guilty all the time, or mowing as much as them when I dread doing it, I pay one of these neighbors via barter to do it for me when absolutely needed. “Why not mow at all?” you might ask. Because you need to strike a balance as a member of the community. This means meeting others half way sometimes. But I refuse to plant flowers, pay for lawn fertilizer, or wash my windows. You have to take a stand somewhere.
  6. Don’t watch the news. Human beings aren’t designed to hear all the bad news of the entire planet at once, every day. We are designed to only hear bad news for about 40 people per day. News is “hyper-reality.” It is more real than real for humans. If not, you will be super depressed.
  7. Have grit. This means not giving up easily if something is important to you. Most adults give up too easily. So long as something is not against the laws of physics, there is the possibility we can do it—even if that possibility is small. And, as Elon Musk has said, “Some things are so important we should attempt to do them, even if there is a high probability we will fail.” That is how he built Space X, Tesla, Solar City, and the Boring Company.
  8. Listen. Actively listen. Most people just wait for someone to stop talking so they can talk more. You don’t learn this way. You already know what you know. Try being quiet and learning more from someone else. Don’t assume you know what they are going to say. Think about it.
  9. Children are the future. Show them respect and kindness. Be an authoritative parent, not an authoritarian one. How you treat children determines the remainder of their lives. It determines the future. Just because someone is smaller and weaker doesn’t entitle you to treat them poorly. Try to remember how you felt as a child. How would you want to be treated?
  10. You can do far more than you think. Give it a try. Watch a youtube video or look it up on the Internet. You will be surprised what you can do.
  11. Before you make a big decision, ask yourself “On my deathbed, would I look back at this choice and feel ashamed of what I did?” This applies to all things. Be the best self you can be, the person that would look back at your life and feel you acted with integrity. You can use your life to build up others or you can use it to tear others down. We all have an expiration date. Never forget that. And you cannot undo what has been done.

The above answer is by Alexander Finnegan to this particular question.

Conclusion

I hope you enjoyed this answer as much as I did.

I really recommend you check out other answers to this question on Quora. I may have read it a long time ago and some new and even better answers may have popped up since.

If you don’t use Quora, feel free to leave a comment down below about this answer.